Postcards from Siberia

Get behind me satan and push.

2006-06-05T19:01:33Z

From almost the very the point I decided to start taking note of my dreams and write them down, I've actually spent most of my time in dumbfounded awe of them. I'm actually finding it hard to put them on paper. Am I denying them? Maybe I just don't want to smear the ink of reality on them. Sometimes they're so simple and repetitive, and other times they scare the wits out of me.

I'm really glad I decided to do this.

Farewell, sweet laughter...

2006-02-10T13:54:00Z

Michael: There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?
Gob: It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye... juice.
Buster: There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!

I'm really going to miss this show. At least there's still The Office to look forward to.

A toast to Niclaus

2005-12-16T17:56:23Z

Belly full of noodles and an empty library. And I’m leaving early to drink beer and pour libations of it into some chili I’m cooking for the Santa Claus party.

Santa Claus was raised by nymphs and the Great Ak. He can speak Finch.

The cats have promised to sing us karaoke. Burl Ives and the Peppermint Kandy Kids.

There may be bad art involved.

The black cat, curiouser and curiouser

2005-08-30T14:45:32Z

For the record, my current list of Irresistables:

Supernatural Carnivals
Crispin Glover as the Thin Man
Clove Gum
Sea Priestesses
Autumn Childhood
Bakery/Dessert Smells
Cat Bellies
Caramel Apples
Deranged Waltzes
Skeleton Cowboys
Fragrant Smoke
Hot Wax
Otherworldly Pop Music
Bourbon Fudge
Christopher Lee’s voice
Pumpkins that aren’t Pumpkins
Turnips that aren’t Turnips

Feathers and Bones and Fur

2005-03-09T20:44:59Z

Donovan makes me giddy. The perfect way to whittle down my afternoon, thanks to The Unbroken Circle.

When the may rain comes...

2005-03-07T19:49:15Z

I'm going to London for two weeks this Spring, with a class group. Leroc and I will get just a little bit of time to explore the city on our own. I want to fill up this time the best I can. So, what is there in London that I absolutely have to go and see or do?

New Miyazaki

2005-02-04T17:39:11Z

I can't wait to see this movie:

Howl's Moving Castle

You can read a little more and see other pictures here

I read the book by Diana Wynne Jones, and I couldn't help but picture it all Miyazaki-esque. And I think the chicken legs are gonna make a great addition. He must love Baba Yaga.

It was a stendhal's syndrome moment...

2005-01-21T14:50:13Z

I was looking at my newly acquired Thoth tarot... listening to Bobb Trimble. There is some music that just puts me there. I really have a weakness for fragile male singing voices. I don't mind a little shaky-ness, a little raspy-ness, some lunacy.

I got several things going on. My senses are cracking the whip, they own me. Mostly wanting to sit and listen to music for hours, compiling it. Drink warm honeyed tea and let the darkest bitter chocolate dissolve in my mouth. Get out my oils and put together something that smells like a resinous honeycomb or an orange flower dipped in brown sugar and cinnamon and myrrh. I tried making a perfume that smelled like kheer, because I have a vanilla tincture, and a cardamom tincture. Tried adding a little rose, a little frankincense oil (needed something base-y). I'm not sure how it will turn out. I'll just have to wait and see how it develops. I usually don't try to make the alcohol-based ones. But since I live in Kentucky and can buy the everclear, well.

I believe I may see Finding Neverland tonight. It has been the season of biographical flicks. Kinsey, the aviator... I need something visual to go with my current sensual mood. Maybe Finding Neverland will supply.

belle_the_tiger @ 2005-01-10T13:30:00

2005-01-10T18:30:54Z

You know you're sick when your laugh sounds like a car crash.

German Safety video a la Argento

2004-11-17T20:35:20Z

Staplerfahrer_klaus.

It's 9 minutes and something, but worth it. Especially if you're feeling the need to see some cartoonish bloodshed.

Late endeavors

2004-11-10T15:30:14Z

I've spent a good amount of spare time during the last month working on a compilation of songs for the Major Arcana of the Tarot, dealing with some aspect of the card. I finally got it burned last night, and I'm pretty happy with the results.

0 (The Fool). Fool-Trees
1 (The Magician). Song of the Magician-Tim Buckley
2 (The High Priestess). Evening-Meredith Monk
3 (The Empress). Oh Bright Eyed One-C.O.B.
4 (The Emperor). El Rey Pescador-These Trails
5 (The Heirophant). Family Bible-Willie Nelson
6 (The Lovers). Northern Sky-Nick Drake
7 (The Chariot). Anywhere on this Road-Lhasa
8 (Strength). Rusty Cage-Johnny Cash
9 (The Hermit). The Hermit-Art Bears
10 (Wheel of Fortune). Wheel of the Law-Kendra Smith
11 (Justice). Severance-Dead can Dance
12 (The Hanged Man). Dwarf in a Tree (A Cautionary Tale)-Duncan Browne
13 (Death). My Name is Death-P.G. Six
14 (Temperance). Pyramid Song-Radiohead
15 (The Devil). The Devil had a Hold on Me-Gillian Welch
16 (The Tower). The Tower Song-Townes Van Zandt
17 (The Star). Hope Beneath the Stars-Moth Masque
18 (The Moon). Janitor of Lunacy-Nico
19 (The Sun). Sun in My Mouth-Bjork
20 (Judgement). Who by Fire-Leonard Cohen
21 (The World). Across the Universe-Beatles

I used the Albano-Waite deck, and some of the songs actually fit very well with the images on the card while others not so much. The Heirophant for example--Willie Nelson doesn't go well with the papal imagery, but I think it fits the meaning. Some of these songs were obvious choices (at least for me) from the beginning, and it was the Tim Buckley track that gave me the idea to work on this. The Meredith Monk track was a late addition that I love. I really enjoyed working on this. If anyone wants a copy, I'll make a trade for postcards, art, stickers, anything cool.

Also,
Reference Librarian quote of the week:
"I'm not impressed by your boobs, cause I can't see em."

So small, a sliver

2004-11-04T19:15:01Z

The sky was actually lavender-colored when I stepped outside this morning, and with phosphorescent varieties of orange blazing from the trees I seemed underwater. Trying to see it all from a distance (in my mind) I saw the roads full of streaming jellyfish. A November parade.

belle_the_tiger @ 2004-11-03T10:35:00

2004-11-03T16:27:50Z

Considering my growing misanthropy, I need to remind myself of good stuff.

-Zac in his monkey costume.

-Sunday morning potluck breakfasts with the windows wide open, music blaring, and good company. Coffee, salty bacon, fried and scrambled eggs, biscuits and two types of gravy, pecan pancakes with butter syrup, chopped apples, pears, peaches and red grapes with marachino cherry juice, grits and hash brown casserole.

-Luke's bullwinkle voice. The way Banjo and random people, as told through Luke, sometimes speak like Bullwinkle.

-My dad's handmade brick patio.

-We've been getting christmas cards in the mail. Since Summer. One of them contained a dollar and another informed me that I fucking rock.

-Shaolin Soccer.

-Bofus affection. Head-butting Banjo.

-Hanging around the smoker with Luke's family at Thanksgiving. Watching six men drool over some barbecue dip.

-Persistant strength and hope, damn it.

My lovely morning

2004-10-07T19:52:43Z

I found a photoshopped porn picture on the network printer in the office this morning. It was a guy masturbating and his "one-eyed jack" had been blown up to Priapus proportions. It was 7:30 in the morning, and I was alone, and I was laughing. I'm just glad my supervisor didn't see it first, because I just know she would have pointed it out to me, pissed off about it, blaming one of the students and I wouldn't be able to hold back my laughter.

Oh, and a tip: if you ever have to write a few paragraphs about which administrative and management functions differ in special libraries from that of public or academic libraries, it is helpful to listen to speed metal, such as this: Vortex of Chaos.

fiddles

2004-09-29T12:34:14Z

Last night in my sleep I went shopping for shoes--mary janes and boots--at a gigantic dimly lamp lit warehouse of a thrift store. There were people playing fiddles there, and a bob-haired girl was dancing in her skirt.

That is all I remember.

belle_the_tiger @ 2004-09-02T13:53:00

2004-09-02T18:15:57Z

My dad shipped me some green tomatoes from his garden! I hadn't eaten fried green tomatoes in over 10 years. I'd forgotten how good they are. So today for lunch I had leftover fried green tomatoes, popcorn and a snowcone.

Tomorrow we leave for THE LAKE. A good time rockin, swimmin, drinkin and singin. It'll be a good reprieve from studying what makes a computer a computer.

Music is good.

Picture: rocks, snakes, and lace.

2004-08-30T13:55:38Z

I watched Picnic at Hanging Rock yesterday. I don't even know where to begin to talk about this movie. Of course, I immediately go around reading several interpretations--I couldn't just leave it as is. I want to believe that they, like Alice, fell down a rabbit hole. I could go further into it, but I generally just don't enjoy doing that much, at least not in this broadcasting sort of way.
I can talk freely about stupid movies, but when it comes to the ones I care about--the ones that really get in my head--I tend to want to tell it in whispers and low voices over some toast with blueberry jam or a cup of sake.

But what I can say is that I'm really nostalgic yet again for something that never happened, at least not in any real time that exists outside of my head. To quote Kicking and Screaming,

Max:I'm too nostalgic. I'll admit it.
Skippy : We graduated four months ago. What can you possibly be nostalgic for?
Max : I'm nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back on it in my memory...and I didn't have a good time.

There are so many movies that make even the simplest of lives look entertaining, like What's Eating Gilbert Grape perhaps. Kicking and Screaming tells it like it is, showing Max doing the crosswords and staring at the walls, reading book titles aloud, "As I Lay Dying..."
But even then it seems entertaining somehow.

I believe I have gone and contradicted myself. Oh well, such am I: scattered thoughts and contradictions.

Happy Birthday postcard

2004-08-09T12:32:07Z

So I gave Leroc his first birthday present yesterday:

I found this LP used for four bucks, had no idea what it was. It turns out to be kind of a cross between Sandy Denny and ABBA. And yet a couple of tracks seem suitable somehow for an October compilation.

The breakfast event was massive. I made tomato pie, and pancakes. There was also grits, biscuits with sausage gravy, bacon, eggs, banana chocolate chip bread, fruit and a potato frittata. And in essential Leroc style, we went afterwards for an unimportant round of miniature golf.

I'm a romantic. Don't act surprised.

2004-08-04T13:28:43Z

I have gone and frustrated myself first thing in the morning. I just want to be comfortable and put my feet in the grass.

Old british psychedelic folk songs are good for that, especially once they play in rotation inside your head. Clive Palmer's voice makes me sorry to live so high in the air. So sweet, soft wet lips and grass and blankets, and yet so much more than that. Like being on your back and feeling the earth pull your body away from the sky.

In my other world, I'm fire-headed like the tree, and I spend my time pulling up roots and training cats to walk upright and eat pie. There are Kate Bush records and barns and autumn-colored skies and forests behind the house and animals and animal people. Psycho animal people playing banjos and strings and singing with great goat voices. And me an my cats clap and stomp and sing along.

I promise I haven't been high in a really long time.

Maybe too long.

belle_the_tiger @ 2004-07-29T15:22:00

2004-07-29T19:51:18Z

I'm balancing four massive carts of books and a pile of giant atlases on my neck and shoulders. Weary and painfully smarting between them, on either side of the spine like tiny point-quick ice cream headaches in my musculature. My hair is too long. The blood flow is heavy. And I've eaten way too many baked goods today.

My job is quickly morphing into physical labor. And I'm getting lazy.

But as I sit here, belly heavy with blueberry muffin, lemon poppy-seed scone, chocolate chip oatmeal cookie, and fruit kuchen, I make myself secret promises. To be kept secret as protection from weathering. Promises to be kept in silk-lined wooden boxes, with a small stick of precious incense and a lock of my hair tied up neatly with thin shiny blue ribbon. Promises about being productive... creative even, not only at work, not mostly at work, but in other more elusive aspects of being.

Such as getting that pattern exchanged, to start with. I have hefty tubs of fabric and a chest full of scrap images. I'm so good at destruction, I can rip apart a pair of purple jeans with an excessive crotch length, no problem. Then it gets folded and goes in the pile, never to return to make the transformation to awesome purple jean skirt.

I blame the chickens. Inspiringly lazing about, blinking slowly in the sun on the windowsill. Urging me with their faces to put the headphones on or put on their favorite television show so they can curl up at my chest or the bend behind my knee. Blast.

Cherry Coke

2004-07-27T12:30:49Z

So I went to see a sneak preview of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle last night. I thought it was pretty funny, but a shameless marketing ploy for White Castle. I felt hypnotized--few movies have made me crave a certain food so badly. I think it was the mention of Cherry Coke that really set if off, even though they didn't have any when I went after the movie to get two white castles and some fries. I felt like such a sucker.

This lovely autumnal weather is seriously fucking with me. I expect to see leaves falling and firey orange color everywhere. There is one tree outside the library, though, that for some reason looks like it's on fire. Among all the green, this one little tree with its leaves always looking as if they are backed by the sun.

I really need to plan a hiking trip.

belle_the_tiger @ 2004-06-17T14:16:00

2004-06-17T19:05:39Z

I think my cat grits his teeth, and it's squeaky. I woke up last night and thought I saw him sitting as upright as a bast statue on top of the dresser, still as stone. I kept moving my foot, trying to lure him to the bed to attack it but got a little scared when he didn't come (you must know Banjo). Turns out once I put my glasses on that the shape of an orange cream cat can be formed in a dark room from a pile of books, a bra, and a painting. He must have been gritting his teeth.. under the.. bed.

Watching our netflix-rented movie The Sandlot tonight with friends, apparently to psych ourselves up for the ballpark on Friday. I've never been to a ball park, but I've heard there is beer and food and excited people there.

Two other movies I've recently watched: The Wicker Man, and Lady in White (1988). Wicker Man worked its way into my brain nice and good, and I wasn't expecting a musical. But I recognized Willow's Song as "How Do" from a Sneakerpimps album I sold back ages ago. I remember that being the only song on the album I cared about. I must have known that song was about naked women pounding on walls and doors and dancing and trying to seduce the occupant of the next room through a picture frame.

Lady in White was just damn cheesy, but it had it's moments. Mona from Who's the Boss makes an effective mental and creepy old piano teacher lady in a nightgown who likes dolls and fire. And apparently, see I didn't know this, but when your spirit is finally freed from the earth... what it does is fly up like a shooting star and make a heart shape in the sky before it disappears. Thanks to this knowledge, I am ready to accept my mortality.

I'm spending the Summer devouring movies and not-so-much-devouring as slothing my way through a few books. I hope to finish His Dark Materials before I must read about the role of technology in information science in the Fall. The netflix queue is long, but I have a lot of catching up to do.

Seeing, Reading.

2004-06-01T12:39:35Z

I finally watched The Others this weekend and was pleasantly surprised. The story was pretty good, even if slightly too spin-on-things. But mostly I enjoyed it as a mood piece. I loved the scene when the children were in bed and the sister kept turning her head so you couldn't tell if it was her making the creepy "other" voice.

We also watched Love Actually, which actually made me sick for humanity... but that's a long gripe I've already purged. I wouldn't have watched it because Hugh Grant bothers me (see Family Guy episode "Stuck Together Torn Apart" for more details), but Leroc wanted to see it and told me he'd heard it wasn't too bad.

I also watched Pitch Black, some more Dark Shadows, and a few episodes of Buffy season six. Played Kingdom of Loathing a lot, and went to Churchill Downs for the first time. I made a few bets but mostly lost. All of this in between numerous funnel cloud threats.

I couldn't really get through Preacher, so now I'm reading Good Omens, which I find pretty funny. I love how every cassette that stays in Crowley's car for very long automatically turns into the Best of Queen.

There is a website that has me on the lookout, in awe of everything= RoadsideAmerica clicky clicky.

Susumo Yokota

2004-05-27T17:51:28Z

eggshell chalk and orris
two of wood
a screaming orange
soft dense blackness
quiet walls
radio towers of neon jellyfish
a carpeted feeling
a human aquarium
otherworldly slow and surprising
droning and purring

In the cracks immanent coffee
And raucous yellow light bleeding

I didn't know the gun was loaded

2004-05-20T17:55:16Z

I'm going to a wedding this weekend. We've been told that there is a cash bar, and we are not to bring our flasks.

I'll be looking like I stepped right out of the 1920's. It was mostly unintentional, but combine a bob haircut with a hair scarf and that's what you get.